Tuesday, June 14, 2011



Dear Father:

            My mind is trouble, and it is with a heavy heart, that I transcribe these words.  For I fear, in a day now, they may be my last.  As time is closing in, for which, the rumors of war you spoke of, is finally up on us.  Many around me are already starting to pray for better days, though it was written what shall be.

            I would like to say, that I fought a good fight in this war, and that I stood fast by
My faith and often misplaced loyalty, that I held my banner high in the face of despair,
No matter the tribulation.  To the end I pledged I would go.

            Though as I have lived my life, it too would be in vain, which I am ashamed to   
 Write.  A lie, one that I chosen to comfort my lost soul, I’m sadden to know; with so many, only a few of us will be coming home.  Not that I’ve chosen to be left behind.  I know I haven’t earned a place or the honor to be called a soldier.  Nor did I choose this role that I must play.  It was chosen for me at birth.

            I would like to say, I lived a good life, though my regrets out weigh my accomplishments.  Knowing I failed you.  Yet, we both know I’m the one that been cheated.

            We came into this with our eyes close.  Now that they are open wide, I wish I could close them again.  They say, “From our mistakes, we grow.”  Yet, for some of us, that’s all we have to show.  A revenant is what I have become, with no sprit left to lift me, I lay otiant.

            You always know when you come to the end.  When you can’t turn back, and what you see, you know you don’t like.  All you have is a head full of questions, with no answers.  Like, why you?  How did it come to this?

            I called up on you the other day.  As always lost and confused.  You were the one that could wipe my tears and fears away from my troubled mind.  Like many times before, but got no answer.  So I thought I leave you this letter behind.  So you’ll have some idea of what’s been on my mind.  Because we were once so close, now when we speak, it as if we are strangers speaking for the first time.  Yet, you gave me life.  You know me better than I know myself.  So how come we don’t talk anymore?  Another one of those questions we never got around to answer.  I knew we drifted apart, but never to the point of no return.

            We needed hope.  Today we were giving a book by Philip Yancey:  Rumors of another world.  Since then there’s been chanting all around me.  I guess they come to the same conclusion as I.  There’s only one way out of this.  I’ve been down in these trenches for so long, that I no longer look too or dream of reaching the top.

            The Devil and I never been or will be friends.  Still I know I would be welcome.  For I found hell here on earth, and I’m told by, (some preacher,) a man I don’t even know, because of my sins, I’m going to hell below also.  So I guess, if I live or die, I’m already home.  Twice hell bound, right?

All I ask now father, will you remember me like Jesus?

Forgive me,

My Heavenly Father,

Your son……

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